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'Have another drink. Enjoy yourself.' 'Which? The two are mutually exclusive.' |
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Friday, March 14, 2008
Read from that site.Morbid Outlook. Gothel and The Rose anybody? now that ive got you recalling.. here's a paragraph to contemplate. When my husband got sick I thought death would be easier. It would happen, and then it would be over and I would grieve. Sometimes I wish he would hurry up and die so I could grieve the person he used to be instead of caring for what’s left. (skip paragraphs)
Is it better to have the death be fast, and get to remember the person how you loved them, and to not get to say goodbye? Or to have to watch the slow decay, and getting to say goodbye over and over? (skip paragraphs) Standing outside of my husband’s room I open the door slowly, noiselessly. I hold my breath, listening for his. This could be the time I don’t hear it. mine was a mix lol. my grandma spent ages in that hospital i never said goodbye to her id never thought she'd die but never thought about if she got well i almost just put her aside of my life, aside from hospital visits and now i think about it she lost to cancer cus she didnt have the will to live. and i can only say WTF BEFORE IT GOT WORSE YOU COULDVE JUST CAME TO LIVE WITH US ditch my loser of an uncle the pathetic drug abuser (not the drug part, the extorting shit part) WE COULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF YOU WHY NOT it frigging cost you YOUR LIFE WHY COULDNT YOU COME TO US ditch that house in woodlands that which holds my childhood memories and now FUCKIN STAINED WITH ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT RESIDUE and my grandfather, fine if you wanted him along in our house i know you loved him but[sorry to burst your bubble] ITS WASTED.all your money your savings One friggin Thousand Five goes to him every month why did you get my dad to promise to do that for you where is he now? IN CHINA WITH HIS FUCKING NEW WIFE yes, i dont mind it if it was after your death so, he was lonely and unloved BUT HE MET THAT WOMAN WHILE YOU LAID SICK IN THE HOSPITAL we found the photograph in his bag smiling, with his arms around her, dated 2005 jan ..i dont remember your death day exactly but it was a few months after.. did you know of it?mummy suspects you do. no wonder you went ahead and frigging lost your will to live. i dont remember the least bit about your last hospital months (other than you telling me i must '用功读书' ) i'll only remember and cherish perhaps grieve of the memories of the you before all that shit
6:28 PM
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