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'Have another drink. Enjoy yourself.' 'Which? The two are mutually exclusive.' |
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Monday, March 31, 2008
AVENGED SEVENFOLD Unholy Confessions. "I'll try," she said as he walked away. "Try not to lose you." Two vibrant hearts could change. Nothing tears the being more than deception,unmasked fear. "I'll be here waiting" tested and secure. Nothing hurts my world, just affects the ones around me When sin's deep in my blood, you'll be the one to fall. "I wish I could be the one, the one who won't care at all But being the one on the stand, I know the way to go, no one's guiding me. When time soaked with blood turns its back, I know it's hard to fall. Confided in me was your heart I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me. "Nothing will last in this life, our time is spent constructing, now you're perfecting a world... meant to sin. Constrict your hands around me, squeeze till I cannot breathe, this air tastes dead inside me, contribute to our plague. Break all your promises, tear down this steadfast wall, restraints are useless here, tasting salvation's near. Nothing hurts my world, just affects the ones around me When sin's deep in my blood, you'll be the one to fall. "I wish I could be the one, the one who won't care at all But being the one on the stand, I know the way to go, no one's guiding me. When time soaked with blood turns its back, I know it's hard to fall. Confided in me was your heart I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me." _ slithering pain of nowhere the impending engulf i may try to applease but in the moment i am choked in tears that will not fall. .and now its gone.
5:39 PM
Thursday, March 27, 2008
give me back my AMANDA CAITLIN LINSHA JACQUELINE ISABEL CHERYLCINDYGAYA imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouall a year already and yet i wish sometimes its still back the way how it used to be the group i took 4 years to find and i cant believe how long it took me to fully realise and appreciate.. MANDA IS MY NUMBER ONE!!!!!! AND JACQUELINE AND HER WIT AND LINSHA'S INTERESTING THOUGHTS ON EVERYTHING AND ISABEL AND HER JAPNESS AND HER FREE MANGAS AND HER OVERWHELMING NICENESSS AND CAITLIN FOR HER SUETYI, (or suetyi and her caitlin?) .. not to mention how very much i miss feeling not as smart as all of them (okay maybe it isnt all of them haha) and somehow,that smartness around me is like some sort of a security blanket all warm and snuggly. with them, you learn something new every day.. you'd be laughing at least a thousand times.. happy secure not at all afraid and you dare to do anything. you trust them with anything and hold back nothing. all i ever wanted was all i already had. CAITLIN THE DISTANCE MUSTNT DEFEAT GET THE CORDS TO YOUR PRINTER AND SEND THAT LETTER manda we'll mug at kap together someday if not mug we'll research science stuff -i need a science person desperately- -andahhemyoutubewouldbeoutofthequestion- jacq we're practically neighbours yet WHEN ARE WE GONNA PLAY BADMINTON?? and LINSHA. ... I WANNA SEE YOUR HAIR X) * ppsst ppsst know how i hate someone every year?where im just so annoyed with the person like crazyyyy even though they're just NICE? like the hatred comes out from nowhere and its crazy cus it makes no sense? p5 was shalom p6 was linsha for that moment (gomen the way i treated you><) sec1 was clara.. wait.i dont really like her much still..heheh. well this year, i just found another one. WHICH DOES ME NO END OF GOOD blah.man i suck yeah.stupid stupid stupid * jiyeon has this crappy impression of me.thinks im sicker than i actually am. lol if i Am that sick really.. (grins) * dude im getting braces but ITS KILLING MY TONGUE AND COMPLETELY AFFECTING MY CHEWING chewing!!! ); i need to be able to enjoy my food>< * up. down. strange. charm. bottom. top. who can guess what this is?
11:32 PM
Friday, March 14, 2008
Read from that site.Morbid Outlook. Gothel and The Rose anybody? now that ive got you recalling.. here's a paragraph to contemplate. When my husband got sick I thought death would be easier. It would happen, and then it would be over and I would grieve. Sometimes I wish he would hurry up and die so I could grieve the person he used to be instead of caring for what’s left. (skip paragraphs)
Is it better to have the death be fast, and get to remember the person how you loved them, and to not get to say goodbye? Or to have to watch the slow decay, and getting to say goodbye over and over? (skip paragraphs) Standing outside of my husband’s room I open the door slowly, noiselessly. I hold my breath, listening for his. This could be the time I don’t hear it. mine was a mix lol. my grandma spent ages in that hospital i never said goodbye to her id never thought she'd die but never thought about if she got well i almost just put her aside of my life, aside from hospital visits and now i think about it she lost to cancer cus she didnt have the will to live. and i can only say WTF BEFORE IT GOT WORSE YOU COULDVE JUST CAME TO LIVE WITH US ditch my loser of an uncle the pathetic drug abuser (not the drug part, the extorting shit part) WE COULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF YOU WHY NOT it frigging cost you YOUR LIFE WHY COULDNT YOU COME TO US ditch that house in woodlands that which holds my childhood memories and now FUCKIN STAINED WITH ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT RESIDUE and my grandfather, fine if you wanted him along in our house i know you loved him but[sorry to burst your bubble] ITS WASTED.all your money your savings One friggin Thousand Five goes to him every month why did you get my dad to promise to do that for you where is he now? IN CHINA WITH HIS FUCKING NEW WIFE yes, i dont mind it if it was after your death so, he was lonely and unloved BUT HE MET THAT WOMAN WHILE YOU LAID SICK IN THE HOSPITAL we found the photograph in his bag smiling, with his arms around her, dated 2005 jan ..i dont remember your death day exactly but it was a few months after.. did you know of it?mummy suspects you do. no wonder you went ahead and frigging lost your will to live. i dont remember the least bit about your last hospital months (other than you telling me i must '用功读书' ) i'll only remember and cherish perhaps grieve of the memories of the you before all that shit
6:28 PM
ILOVEYOULINKIN PARK!!!!!!!!!! Heh linkin park's making me high.. theyre the - - really really theyre just the hybridtheoryandmeteorailyilyily especially good ol intheend numb faint breakingthehabit omg Numb I'm tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless lost under the surface Don't know what you're expecting of me Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)Every step that I take is another mistake to you(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)I've become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you Can't you see that you're smothering me Holding too tightly afraid to lose control Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)Every step that I take is another mistake to you(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)And every second I waste is more than I can take I've become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired so much more awareI'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you And I know I may end up failing too But I know You were just like me with someone disappointed in you I've become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you I've become so numb I can't feel you there I'm tired of being what you want me to beI've become so numb I can't feel you there I'm tired of being what you want me to be i love everything of every song and the screaming (lol i might as well listen to slipknot) haha i just did... they're not bad!!!!!!
go listen 'Before i forget' !!!!!! (WOOOOOTSSSSSSS) HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA Wait And Bleed!!!!! ' I FELT THE AIR RISE UP IN ME KNEEL DOWN AND CLEAR THE STONE OF LEAVES ' after reading jiyeon's blog i went and listened to Bullet For My Valentine - Tears don't fall is nice!!!!!!! your tears don't fall they crash around me her conscious calls the guilty to come home your tears don't fall they crash around me her conscious calls the guilty to come home Slipknot- Blackheart all the pieces of the puzzle seem to fall into place but the only thought that i could think was pissin in that FUCKING FACE the taste that you left in my mouth was rotten and you think that all the shit you did to me could be FORGETTEN well fuck no you both got me last time next time i see your punk ass its mine from behind dawg i'm gonna crack that skull then i'm gonna laugh when you fall cause you fucked me raw comin home late at night when your sneakin in the door with a bottle half empty and your tank is on full you hurt me and i will never forget how you HURT ME and all the pain you caused left my mind blank and my soul was lost and now the thoughts are in my head and drifting side to side you know i'm gonna get cause there is nowhere to hide headlines will read on the night she died trust me i will get your ass back if it kills me for the rest of your life you will feel me i'm gonna make you remember that you hurt me you fuckin hurt me hurt me; hurt me; hurt me; hurt me my head was fucked up; hurt me when i was locked up: hurt me made a phone call; hurt me bitch put a block up; hurt me on the phone letters to your home but you never wrote me back what the fucks up with that one of these days i'm gonna get you bitch find your body in an valley in the alley in a ditch with a 45 chrome to the back of your dome havin everybody wonderin what the fuck is goin on where the fuck did you go never be back again but i still keep thinkin about you now and then trust me i will get your ass back if it kills me for the rest of your life you will feel me gonna make you remember that you hurt me you fuckin hurt me i remember when i first said i love you got confused from the first time i fucked you you got nervous when i opened up your legs relax cause i was raised on x-rated moves and porno mags all day walk around with a full buzz never fully understood what our love was l-25 straight brought the light same time had to dip outa town for a few nights came back and my road dawgs waitin tellin me some shit leavin me contemplaitin murder fuckin my best friend unheard of and i'm gonna get you in the end yeah one of these days it will be my i'm gonna slit your throat make it look suicide fuck you, i should've known better than to trust you fuck you yeah i know its all ,but i love it all the same especially 'one of these days i'm gonna get you bitchfind your bodyin an valleyin the alleyin a ditch' it fucking rocks yea?haha. ah shoot i cant get the mathematical anthem ..the lyrics are so cute (grin) but the heretic anthem!!WOOOTS!!!! If you're 555, then I'm 666 If you're 555, I'm 666 If you're 555, I'm 666 What's it like to be a heretic? * today's my dad's and einstein's birthday. * LOL.I meant to blog something else i meant to, but i ended up on songs. ah well. AND i didnt mention those songs for nothing -HINT HINT-
10:03 AM
Saturday, March 08, 2008
YO ITS MARCH HOLIDAYS WHICH MEANS WE NEED A GATHERING KAY KAYY? btw a movie's definitely out =] * i failed hist.haha who didnt?only 5 passed in the class. overall best was chinese [A2] , wth? okay why am i reporting on marks? ooh ooh.andro's sitting next to meeeee~!!!!! (grins) and harriet's got her two mortals eyecandying her and i wanna take up philosophy and quantum mechanics in university and ive been terribly out of touch with music for like a week and that may just go on for another.. * science could go ahead and rule my life aside from the basic needs and certain people and certain stuff i really really couldnt care less about everything else history included [well duh] . and for what i want, hungry zoey is willing to live on rice tofu and vegetables everyday for it * i wouldnt mind serving sentence aside from the record, some people are really worth beating up for it wait not beating, nope, torturing, crippling spend the rest of their lives in the permanent irreversible hell, of my honorable gift
3:34 PM
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